


Dead Girl Walking

by sunkelles



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Identity Issues, Trans Tim Drake, artemis and m'gann's beautiful friendship, minor bluepulse, one-sided spitfire, refusing to deal with trauma, the issues related to trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8972566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: Fate does not give Zatanna's body back. Her father and her girlfriend spend six years trying to free her. 
Then, they have to deal with the fall out





	1. Moded

**Author's Note:**

  * For [titaniumsansa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/titaniumsansa/gifts).



> 1\. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! you are getting physical christmas presents, of course, but this is the main present. this is what i'm the most proud of.  
> also, since there's a second chapter on the horizon we can either count that as a "because i love you" gift or a really late christmas gift, your choice :)  
> 2.. the structure of this fic is giovanni, zatanna, artemis, repeat  
> 3\. there are a lot of characters in this, but other than the pov trio and nabu i don't think anyone has been majorly important, so i did not tag them yet.  
> 4\. some lines were taken verbatim from episodes. i do not claim them.  
> 5\. title is from the song "dead girl walking" from heather's the musical  
> 6\. enjoy this weirdass angst puddle.

Giovanni looks up in horror as Doctor Fate hovers above him. Zatanna’s hair gently blows back in the wind.

“Fate, great Nabu,” he bellows, “release my daughter!” He holds his breath, and the silence seems to stretch on forever. Then, it is finally broken.

“No,” Nabu says. Giovanni can feel his own fear and anger burning inside of him.

“Witness the havoc wrought in these hours,” Fate says, gesturing to the carnage, “The world needs Doctor Fate, and the girl’s natural affinity for the mystic arts makes her the perfect candidate.”

“You can’t do that!” Artemis shouts.

“She has her own life to live,” Robin adds.

Wally’s face contorts in anger as he adds, “Kent would never allow you to-”

“Kent Nelson did object, strenuously,” Fate says, “so I released his spirit to the afterlife. He is gone.” Giovanni takes a deep breath, considers his words and the best way to make his proposition.

“Take me instead,” Giovanni says, “my skills are already at their peak. My body is physically stronger, better able to withstand the strain of your power.” Doctor Fate does not look impressed.

“I will don the helmet, I raews ti.” Giovanni hears a gasp from behind him.

“I will not give the girl back,” Doctor Fate says, with his voice and hers.

“Why,” Giovanni demands, voice hardening, “I offered you my life instead. I swore to put on the helmet-”

“This body is young,” Nobu says, “it’s affinity for magic is not completely trained, but it can be. I will get seventy years of use out of it-”

“Seventy years,” Artemis shouts, and she sounds angry and shocked and disgusted, “You can’t- you can’t keep her for _seventy years.”_

“I can,” Doctor Fate says apathetically, his voice melding with hers, “and i will.”

“Please,” Giovanni begs, “don’t do this, Nabu. I will do _anything_.”

“There is nothing you can do to change my mind,” Doctor Fate says firmly. Giovanni knows that he can’t reason with Nabu anymore. The Lord of Order has made up his mind, and nothing will sway him.

“Esaeler s’annataz ydob,” Giovanni shouts, desperately. He doubts it will work, but he has to _try._ Doctor Fate shoots him down with a blast of intense energy, and he does not look like it even _phased him._

“You cannot free her, Zatara,” Doctor Fate bellows, “do not try again.” It sounds like a threat, and Giovanni deflates. He may be a strong mage, but Nabu is a Lord of Order. He cannot hope to stand against him, at least not while he holds Zatanna hostage. Not here, not now.

Fate flies off, Zatanna’s hair blowing in the wind. And Giovanni? Giovanni cries.

  


 

 

Zatanna paces. She lets out an awkward little laugh at the thought. She isn’t _really_ pacing, not physically at least. She hasn’t physically moved in three days. She has been trapped in her own mind. She’s trying to adjust to the idea that she will never _move_ again, never hold another conversation. She will never cast a spell, never hug her father, never kiss her girlfriend. She will never _do_ anything ever again.

She doesn’t think that she has fully processed it yet. Maybe it’s because her surroundings aren’t awful, that she is able to move around without being able to physically move.

Zatanna’s mind has become her prison, but at least Fate constructed a lovely one. The inside of her mind looks a bit like a library.

 

Her mind palace has enormous windows that show nothing but blackness outside of them, walls coated in bookshelves, and an enormous television where she can watch what Fate sees. She can only watch helplessly as Fate steals her life. Zatanna is never quite sure whether or not she wants to watch

On one hand, it sucks to watch Fate control her body. It sucks to watch him live her life and live it so wrong, but on the other hand, she wants to know what he’s doing. She feels like if she didn’t have some connection to her old life, she would go crazy in here.

She thinks that she’s _already_ going crazy in here. She has a girlfriend, a father she never came out to, and a Team that she never got to join. She has so much living that she’ll never get to do now.

She and Artemis had gotten close as soon as they met, and before Halloween they had already fallen into a relationship. It was beautiful, even if it was short. It was hands clasped, lips locked, movies at the theater close to her house, coffee at the local shop, and phone calls that lasted for hours. It’s only been a few days, but she already misses her like hell. Artemis, and her dad.

Oh god, she’s never going to talk to her dad again. At least, not as herself. Her body might. Hell, it probably will. Nabu has made his intent to join the Justice League with her body quite clear.

She looks at the screen, and watches as Nabu lives her life. At least he’s using it to save some people. She doesn’t know how she’d live with herself if someone like Klarion possessed her instead.

She takes a book off one of the shelves, and sits down at the wooden table in the middle of the library floor. She opens the book, and tries to read it.

It’s hard to focus, at first. She can’t fight the feeling of wrongness and really focus in on the world and the characters, but it gets easier as the story becomes more interesting. She finds herself sucked in, and doesn’t look up until she finishes the book.

She looks up, and sees the screen. Suddenly, she hears a child scream.

The screen has “speakers” that allow her to hear what is going on outside, but she must have tuned it all out. Somehow she missed the fact that Nabu is flying through the air, trying to catch a falling child.

This might not have been the best time to look up. She might not feel the movement, but she can sure _see_ it. After spending so long hunched over her book, the sight makes her feel ill. He catches the little girl in her (their?) arms and floats gently down. Then he sets the girl down gently on the ground.

She looks up at them, frozen in place. She seems shell-shocked by the experience.

“You are safe now,” Doctor Fate says in his mechanical voice, “go home.” The girl snaps out of it, and smiles up at them.

“Ugh,” Zatanna says, “don’t say that. You sound like an asshole.” He is an asshole, but Zatanna doesn’t add that. He already knows her opinion of him.

“Thank you,” she says, and she runs off. Zatanna hopes that the girl can find her parents.

“It is not your choice what I say, Zatanna Zatara,” Doctor Fate tells her.

“It’s still my body,” she says.

“No,” Nabu says, “it is not.” Zatanna bites her lip, and tries to hold back the tears. It is no longer her body, and it probably never will be again. She’s just along for the ride.

 

 

 

 

It’s been five days, and no one has talked about the Incident. No one has talked about how Doctor Fate flew off with Zatanna’s body, leaving the rest of them to deal with the fall out.

No one has talked about how Zatanna might be gone forever. Artemis is fucking sick of it.

“So,” Artemis says, looking down at her bow, “are we gonna talk about it now?” Megan shifts so awkwardly in her seat that the bioship _lunges._ She readjusts, and tries to pretend that it didn’t happen.

“Talk about what?” Megan asks, but from the nervous tilt in her voice, Artemis can tell that Megan knows _exactly_ what she’s referring to. If it were Wally, or even Rob, Artemis would have sent back a smart ass reply. But this is _Megan,_ who Artemis has known for all of three months and the girl has already told her she thinks of her as a sister.

This is _Megan_ , who deserves the world and everything it has to offer. Artemis tries to not be a raging bitch as she responds.

“How Fate just stole Zatanna’s life away from her,” Artemis says. The temperature in the bioship seems to drop twenty degrees, and everyone tries to find somewhere to look that isn’t at Artemis.

“I just, I can’t believe we’re not _talking_ about this,” she says, “I can’t believe we haven’t come up with a plan to save her.” Kaldur sighs.

Always the leader, even if reluctant, he says, “Artemis, I am sorry, but it is not that simple.”

“Why not?” Artemis demands, “if one of you guys were kidnapped, we’d have the whole Team looking for you. That’s what happened, basically. Zatanna was kidnapped. We have to _save_ her.” No one will even talk about this, and Artemis can’t fucking stand it.

“Artemis,” Robin says, “please. You have to calm down.”

“He took Zatanna’s life away from her,” Artemis growls.

“Artemis, calm down,” Wally says, “we were all Zatanna’s friends.”  Were, he said _were_ , and Artemis can’t fucking stand it.

“She is my _girlfriend_ ,” she says. _Is,_ not was. _Are_ , not were. Wally flinches. It takes Artemis a moment to realize what exactly she’s done. _Oh god,_ Artemis thinks. This, this was not how she’d planned to tell the Team.

“We were going to tell you guys soon,” Artemis says, “it just, it never felt like the right time.” An awful silence falls over the bioship, and Artemis feels worse than she did before she said anything.

 

 

 

 

Giovanni zetas up to the Watchtower. The League called a meeting to discuss admitting new members. Giovanni has not stopped pouring over old texts about Lords of Order since Doctor Fate stole away his daughter. He supposes that getting out of the house might be good for him.

They gather around the U-shaped table. Giovanni takes his seat immediately, and Batman sits down beside him.

“I am sorry, Giovanni,” Batman says. Giovanni nods. He doesn’t say anything. Then, the meeting begins. They discuss protocol, and bring forth a multitude of candidates for League membership. Eventually, the topic shifts to a member with questionable credentials.

“Maybe it’s time we all talked about the elephant in the room,” Flash says, “should Captain Marvel remain a member, now that we know he’s really only ten years old?”

Suddenly the room is swirling with different opinions on Captain Marvel’s membership in the League.

“It’s not just your age,” Wonder Woman says, “it’s the fact that you lied about it.” Then they go back and forth about it, until the topic finally shifts to the age _Robin_ was when started crime fighting.

“This isn’t about Robin,” Flash says, “is it? Are we considering him for the League?” Flash sounds concerned.

“No,” Batman grinds out. Giovanni would have had the same reaction if they had suggested Zatanna become a member of the League. At least, if Zatanna had still been _Zatanna._

“Who are the other candidates?” one of the other Green Lanterns asks. It seems that most of them have been debated. All of them except for-

 

Superman sighs.

 

“I didn’t want to mention this,” he says, “but... Doctor Fate has been vying for a position on the League.” The entire League falls silent, except for young Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel has a heart of gold, but never knows when to keep his mouth shut. Giovanni supposes that comes with being ten years old.  
  
“Doctor Fate?” Captain Marvel demands, disgust in his voice, “Doctor Fate stole Zatanna’s life. Do we really want him in the League?”

“We are not sure we want _you_ on the League,” Wonder Woman says. Captain Marvel flinches at that. Wonder Woman is one of the greatest fighters that Zatara has ever met, but she has all the tact of a bulldozer. Batman is glaring at her.

“Captain Marvel has a point, Diana,” Black Canary says, “Nabu stole the body of a teenage girl and threatened her life. Do we really want a being like that on the League, even if he is a Lord of Order?”

“Zatara should have the final say on this,” Batman says firmly. Giovanni has considered this. He has heard that Doctor Fate was vying for a place on the League, and it turned his stomach. Zatanna always wanted to join the League. It’s sickening that this might be her only chance to do it.

“Admit him into the League,” her father says, voice heavy.

“Zatara?” Black Canary asks gently, “you don’t have to agree to this.”

“I want to watch the man controlling my daughter’s body. I want to be able to see her, and make sure that he is keeping her body safe,” Giovanni says, “if he is not held accountable by the League, then who knows what he will do?” Black Canary nods, and he sees the other members seem to change their tune.

 

He has started research into severing Lords of Order from their hosts, but so far he has come up with nothing. At this point, Giovanni has to start running damage control.

He wants to minimize Fate’s damage to his daughter.

“Alright,” Superman says, “that’s everyone.” And they take the vote. They admit Plastic Man, the Atom, Red Arrow, Icon, and _Doctor Fate_ into the Justice League. Giovanni tries to ignore the bile that rises in his throat.

  
  


 

 

The day that Doctor Fate is initiated into the Justice League comes soon enough. Hundreds of civilians gather around to watch. The entire League lines up outside the Hall of Justice, and Zatanna knows that the Team waits for them inside.

“I can’t believe they’re letting _you_ join the Justice League,” Zatanna mumbles.

“Are you not happy?” Nabu asks, “You wished to join the Justice League.” A cold feeling settles over Zatanna. She never mentioned that to Nabu.

“You went through my memories,” Zatanna says.

“I did not pry,” Nabu says, emotionlessly, “sometimes I simply get glimpses into your feelings. It is a side effect of sharing a body.” Zatanna laughs, bitterly.

“Stealing a body,” she corrects. Nabu does not address this comment.

“You are still joining the Justice League,” he says, “you should be happy.”

“It’s not me,” she asserts, “ _I_ ’m not joining the Justice League, you are.”  
  
“Either way, your body is helping people,” he says, “you should be grateful.” Zatanna takes out her book, and buries her nose in it. Nabu will never understand why what he did is wrong. He will never yield when she argues, like he did not yield to her father.

She’s still grateful for that, that at least Nabu did not let her father damn himself to this existence instead, all because of her mistakes.

Zatanna hears her dad’s voice, and drops the book immediately. She looks at the screen. Her father looks torn, heart-broken even.

“Zatanna,” he says, desperate to make sure she believes him, “know that I do not condone of this. I voted to approve Fate as a member of the League so that I could keep an eye on you. I wanted to know you were safe. I love you, Zatanna.”

“Dad,” she says, feeling her heart clench. She wants to keep looking at him, to _talk_ to him. Instead, Fate brushes him off, and _flies_ into the Hall of Justice to avoid him.

He flies right into the room filled with her former teammates. The Team all turn abruptly to look, and then turn away. None of them know what to make of Doctor Fate. None of them except Artemis, who marches straight towards her with an intent, angry glare on her face.

  
“I will take my leave,” Fate says, turning to make his way to the door. Artemis grabs their body by the arm, and holds Nabu down.

“What are you doing?” he demands, Nabu’s voice booming over hers. Zatanna watches the world as Fate sees it from her screen, and sees Artemis take both of their hands. Zatanna can’t feel it but it still melts her heart. Artemis looks into the their eyes, and Zatanna nearly cries.

She’s almost forgotten how Artemis’s steely grey eyes can look so compassionate, so _loving_.

“We’re going to save you, Zatanna,” Artemis promises, voice full of youthful conviction. Zatanna has never loved her more than in this moment.

“That is impossible,” Fate says, with his voice and hers.

“That’s what you think,” Artemis says. There’s so much conviction in her tone. Artemis is so sure of this, and Zatanna knows that she’s going to fail. She wants to tell her that it’s futile, that she should just give up. She also wants to kiss her for trying.

She doesn’t get to do any of those things, and has to watch Artemis walk away, helpless in her own body. Zatanna is getting used to the feeling.

 

 

 

 

Giovanni pours through the scrolls, desperate to find something, anything to save his daughter. He has been at this a year, _exactly,_ and never found anything. But maybe today, maybe if he tries hard enough, he will find it. Maybe he will find how to save her.

He can feel tears building in his eyes, and shoves the scrolls onto the table. He doesn’t want to stain them with tears. They would become illegible, then. The scrolls have not helped him so far, but if he were to get them wet then they would become completely useless.

He hears the doorbell ring, and wipes his tears with his sleeve. He tries to steel himself for whoever waits behind that door, make himself look less like a man that’s been crying. Giovanni Zatara opens his door. Artemis Crock stands on his doorstep.

“Artemis,” Giovanni says cordially. At least, he hopes that it sounds cordial, and not like the has been wallowing in sadness all day, avoiding people so that they do not notice him mourning. Artemis looks like she has been crying as well.

“I um,” she says, “I wanted to check up on you.” Giovanni’s not sure that he believes that, but he doesn’t call her on it regardless.

“Thank you. Artemis,” he says, “I suppose I am alright, all things considering.”

“It’s just- it’s been a year, Mr. Zatara,” Artemis says, “to the _day_.”

“I know, Artemis,” he says, “it’s an anniversary I never wanted to celebrate.”

“I feel like I’m not doing enough,” she says, “isn’t there anything we can do?” Her voice cracks at the end.

“I have been trying, believe me,” he says, “but my skills are are dreadfully lacking.” He wants nothing more than to save his daughter, but he has not come close to figuring it out.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asks.

“I do not know, Artemis,” he says, “this- this is beyond me, and I have been studying magic my whole life.”

“I just, I feel so powerless,” she says, “I need to save her. I just- I” Artemis clamps her mouth shut. Giovanni doesn’t know what she would have said next, but he can guess that it had something to do with she and Zatanna’s relationships. Giovanni sighs. He can’t let this go.

“I wish that she had told me,” he says, shaking his head.

“About what?” Artemis asks.

“About you,” he says.

“What about me?” Artemis asks, her voice rising nervously.

“That you were together,” he elaborates. He knows that Artemis knows what he’s talking about. He _knows_ it, but elaborates anyways.

“You knew?” Artemis asks, shock evident in her voice. Giovanni laughs.

“Of course I knew, Artemis,” Giovanni says, “you two were not subtle. I do not think either of you are capable of it.” Artemis blushes.

“We tried so hard,” she mumbles.

“Yes,” he says, “I noticed.” An uncomfortable silence falls over the two of them.

“Why did you keep it a secret?” he asks, genuinely curious as to why his daughter would keep such a thing from him.

“You’re Catholic,” Artemis says, “she was- she was worried.” She trails off, but Giovanni can fill in the blanks.

“Oh god,” he says, “I thought- I thought she just wasn’t ready. I didn’t dream she’d think I wouldn’t accept her.” Zatanna is his daughter. He’d love her no matter what. Her attraction to women never seemed like an issue.

“Well, um,” Artemis says, “that’s _amazing_ to know, you know, for when we save her.” He doesn’t want to discourage this girl who so clearly loves his daughter. But he also doesn’t want her to pine away her entire life, at least if they can’t save her. He doesn’t want Artemis to have spent her whole life chasing Zatanna if they can’t save her.

As Robin said months ago, she has her own life to live.

“Yes, of course,” he says, “but Artemis, it might not be soon. I am not close to figuring out how to save her.” He doesn’t know how to tell Artemis that he’s not positive that they _can._

“I’m not giving up on her,” Artemis says fiercely. Giovanni forces a smile.

“Neither am I,” he promises. He just wishes he had Artemis’s confidence that they will be able to save her.

 

 

 

 

Two years pass, and every time that Zatanna sees Artemis the other girl tells her about how she’s going to save her. It’s heartwarming, but worrisome. Zatanna has wanted to talk to Artemis for months, it just so happens that they are in the same room today. Artemis is giving Fate the cold glare that means “fuck you and what you did to Zatanna”, and Zatanna almost smiles.

“I want to talk to her,” Zatanna demands.

“What will you say?” Nabu asks cautiously.

“That I want her to move on,” Zatanna says. Nabu doesn't say anything. Zatanna thinks that he's probably ignoring her demand.

“I have searched your feelings,” he says, “this appears to be a genuine desire.”

“You rustled through my feelings?” Zatanna demands, feeling genuine _rage_ for the first time in months.

“Yes,” he says, as though it is nothing, “I will relay your message.”

“She won’t believe you,” Zatanna tells him. Nabu does not respond, and Zatanna turns her attention to the the screen.

“Artemis Crock,” he says, sounding stilted.

“Fate,” Artemis says coldly.

“Zatanna wants you to give up on this,” Nabu says.

“I don’t believe you,” Artemis growls. Nabu _sighs._

“I will show you,” he says. Artemis appears in Zatanna’s mind palace, looking dazed and confused.

“Artemis,” she says, not believing her eyes. She runs forward, and engulfs the other girl in a hug. It’s not really physical contact, but _god_ does it feel like it.

“Zatanna?” she asks. She hugs her back tightly.

“It’s me,” Zatanna says, “it’s me, Mis.”

“But how?” Artemis asks. Zatanna pulls away, and drinks in the sight of her girlfriend standing in front of her.

“Nabu pulled you into my mind,” Zatanna says.

“How?” Artemis asks. Zatanna shrugs.

“I study magic and I don’t understand it.”

“Tell her,” Nabu’s voice booms.

“Artemis,” she says, “I-I”  
  
“Fate said you wanted me to stop,” Artemis says, “he was lying, wasn’t he?”

“He um,” Zatanna says, “he didn’t phrase it quite right.”  
  
“So you do want me to stop?” Artemis asks. She looks like a puppy who has just been kicked.

“No,” Zatanna says, “Artemis, I just- I want you to be happy.”

“I will be,” Artemis promises her, “once we save you.”

“Artemis-”

“I’m going to keep trying,” Artemis promises her.

“I’m not asking you not too,” Zatanna says, feeling tears prickle against her eyelashes, “I just- Artemis, I don’t want you to wait around for me. I want you to move on. Please, Artemis. I- I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this.”

“Zatanna-”

“Please, Artemis,” she says, “just try. I want you to try to be happy without me. I don’t even know if I can be saved.”

“Alright,” Artemis says, her throat dry and her voice bland, “I’ll try.” Zatanna squeezes her hand, and nods her head. Artemis Crock disappears from her mind palace.

Zatanna is left once again with only the view on the screen for company. Artemis opens her eyes, and glares the moment that she sees Fate.

“You’re a piece of shit, Nabu,” Artemis says. Nabu doesn’t grace this with a response, and teleports out of the room as quickly as he had come.

  
  


 

Artemis tries to move on for Zatanna. She does. She really does. The problem is that she doesn’t think that she can. She thinks about Zatanna’s smile and her laugh and the way that her lips felt on hers, and she knows that she’s not close to it, not anywhere near it. It’s been three years, and she still can’t _begin_ to get over it.

 

She can’t mourn a dead girl walking.

 

She and Wally date, or at least they try. They’re eighteen years old, heading off to school at the same college, and Wally’s always been a bit in love with her. They date, or at least they _try._

Well, Wally tries. Artemis just can’t really put herself into it, and he notices. He tries for months, but he can tell that she’s not invested the same way that he is, and that she might never be.

“You’re not over her,” he says. Artemis bites her lip. She looks away, doesn’t answer. That’s answer enough.

“Damn it, Artemis,” he says.

“Why did you- why did you say yes then?” Wally says. He sounds so conflicted, embarrassed, heart-broken, angry.

“I don’t know,” Artemis says. It’s the truth, mainly. She didn’t expect to fall in love with him. She didn’t expect to just get over Zatanna, but she had hoped. Those hopes were all fruitless.

“I’m just your rebound,” he says, bitterly.

“No,” Artemis says, “Wally, that’s not it.”

“Really?” he asks sarcastically. Artemis bites her lip.

“Tell me you’re not still in love with Zatanna, please.” He’s almost begging now. He loves her, Artemis knows. He loves her, and he doesn’t want this to end. Artemis doesn’t say anything. She can’t. She can barely breath, the guilt both of doing this to him and of trying to move on weighing heavy on her chest.

“Figured,” Wally says, angry and bitter and a little self-deprecating.

He slams the door, and that’s the end of that.

 

 

 

Years pass, and suddenly it’s been almost five years since Zatanna donned the helmet. It’s March 2016, and Giovanni doesn’t feel any closer to freeing Zatanna than the day after Fate took her.

Artemis visits often. They have bonded during Zatanna’s absence, and both have poured their souls into trying to save her. He isn’t surprised to find her on his doorstep that night.

“Artemis,” Giovanni says, “it is lovely to see you.”

“I um, I didn’t come to talk,” she says, biting her lip, “not really.”

“What is it?” he asks.

“I wanted to ask a favor,” she says.

“Anything, Artemis,” he says. He’s grown terribly fond of this girl who still loves his daughter, even after years of separation.

“Come in,” he says as he leads her inside. He gets them both glasses of water before they sit down at the kitchen table.

“I need a spell to change someone’s appearance,” she says, “a glimmer?”

“Glamor?” Giovanni asks.

“Yes,” Artemis says, “that’s what Zatanna always called it.” Giovanni doesn’t even want to ask why the two were talking about glamors.

“Zatanna said that she could enchant a necklace to do that,” Artemis says.

“Yes,” he says, “of course. It’s a fairly simple spell. What is it for?”

“It’s a secret,” she says, “Nightwing’s orders.” She sounds a little shaky as she says this, not entirely confident. He doesn’t think she wants it to stay a secret.

“Please,” he says, “if you are doing something reckless, I want to know.” Artemis bites her lip, and looks away.

“I won’t try to stop you,” he promises. Artemis looks to him and makes a decision.

“You can’t tell anyone,” she says. He laughs a little under his breath.

“Who would I tell?” he asks. His only close friend in the League is being held on Rimbor. Even if he wanted to tell Batman, he could not. Artemis cracks a grin at that.

“I’m going undercover,” she says, and she pauses for a moment, “we’re going to fake my death.”

“Oh,” he says. That’s _much_ bigger than he expected.

“Yeah,” she says, letting out a shaky breath.

“Oh god,” she says, “I should have- I should have told you _after_ you enchanted the necklace.” Giovanni laughs.

“I am a man of my word,” he promises her, holding his hand out, “give it here.” Artemis drops the necklace into his hand. The soft, black material folds in on itself and the little golden pendant falls onto his palm. He casts the glamor charm.

“Put it on,” he says, “and you will look and sound like a completely different person.” Artemis gingerly takes the necklace back, and places it around her neck. She changes instantly. Her skin lightens, her eyes darken, and her hair turns black.

“How do I look?” she asks in a completely different voice than her own.

“Nothing like Artemis Crock,” he admits.

“I don’t sound like her either,” she says, stifling a laugh. Artemis takes the necklace back off, and she immediately changes back into herself. Her hair turns back to blonde, her eyes turn back to grey, and her skin darkens back up. She smiles.

“Thank you, Giovanni,” she says.

“I didn’t really want you to think I was dead,” she admits. In his experience, Artemis is not great with platonic affection, or with father figures. But he thinks that’s her way of telling him that she cares.

“I will still worry,” he admits.

“I’d expect nothing less,” Artemis says, “do you remember how much you freaked out when we kidnapped Zatanna the first time?” Giovanni laughs. He was overprotective back in the day. He will be the first one to admit that, but it did not end up stopping Zatanna from doing the reckless things that she wanted. It never did. He doubts that trying to intervene with Artemis’s plans would do anything but anger and endanger her.

“I trust you to be safe,” Giovanni says, offering her a smile. Artemis nods.

  


 

Zatanna has not stopped reading for a solid week, probably. She has ignored all of Fate’s League meetings and all talk of the various alien invasions. There isn’t anything she can do about it, so she decides that reading a fantasy series where everything will turn out alright is a better alternative.

“Zatanna,” Nabu shouts. Zatanna does not look up from her book.

“What do you want?” she asks.

“I said your name six times,” he says, “you did not respond.”

“What do you want?” she repeats, glaring at the pages of her book.

“Artemis Crock is dead,” he says. Zatanna sets her book on the table.

“What did you say?” Zatanna demands.

“Artemis Crock is dead,” Nabu repeats. The words only barely register the second time. Artemis can’t be _dead._

“Is this some kind of joke?” she asks. Fate doesn’t joke, but it makes more sense than the alternative. Artemis can’t be dead.

“It is no joke,” he says, “I thought you should know.”

“You’re _lying,”_ she hisses.

“I have never lied to you,” he says. Zatanna bites her lip. Nabu has pulled a lot of shit over the years, but he has never outright lied to her. She still doesn’t believe this, though. She won’t believe it until she has _proof_.

“Show me,” she says. She doesn’t believe he has anything to show. Nabu sighs.

“You will not stop until I do, will you?” he asks.

“No,” she says. Nabu flies to the nearest zeta tube, and zetas to the Cave.

 

_Designation 017, Doctor Fate_

 

Nabu steps into the Cave, and Zatanna sees every member of the Team. No one looks at Nabu as he tries to walk through the crowd. Until a tall, muscular black boy steps in front of him. The boy crosses his arms.

“Doctor Fate,” he says coldly. Nabu does not acknowledge him, and pushes through, past the crowd of crying team members to Nightwing. She knows that it’s Robin, even though she’s rarely seen him since Fate took her body.

“Doctor Fate,” Nightwing says.

“Zatanna Zatara does not believe Artemis Crock has passed,” Nabu says, with his voice and hers, “she believes that I am lying.”

“I’m sorry, Zatanna,” Nightwing says, fiddling absently with his tool belt, “Nabu is telling the truth.”

“No, no,” Zatanna says, standing up, pointing at the screen in anger, “that- that can’t be true.”

“Kaldur killed Artemis on our last mission,” he says, “she’s dead.” Zatanna sees Megan rise from the corner of the screen, Nabu’s periphery vision.

“Zatanna,” she says, tears in her eyes, “I am so sorry.” Her hair is short now, and it makes her look older. They all look older. Artemis will never get to look any older than already did.

“She is dead,” Nabu says.

“I know that, dickwad,” Zatanna shoots back. She can feel the tears start to fall, and she lets out a sob. Artemis is dead, and she’s stuck in her own mind. She never even got to tell her goodbye.

 

 

 

 

_Are you ready kids? Aye aye Captain! I can’t hear you! Aye aye Captain! Who’ll die in a war machine under the sea? Art-uh Muhs-Crock_

 

_Please,_ Kaldur thinks at her, _this is not conducive to our escape, Artemis._

 

_Sorry Kaldur,_ Artemis thinks, only half sorry for flooding their mental link with that nonsense, _but at this point, there’s not going to_ ** _be_** _an escape. We have no idea what we’re going._ M’gann sighs.

 

_Guys,_ she thinks, _this isn’t helping anything. Let’s talk about something else._

 

_Other than how we’re all going to die?_

 

_Yes, Artemis,_ M’gann thinks, **_other_** _than that._

 

_There is not much else to think about,_ Kaldur thinks. Artemis sighs. He's right. There isn't much for them to talk about, other than that. M'gann certainly tries. 

 

_How did you get your necklace, Artemis?_ M’gann asks, _that looks like high level magic._

 

_Zatara made it for me,_ she admits.

 

_How did you convince him to do that?_ Kaldur asks.

 

_We’re kind of close,_ Artemis thinks, _he didn’t need that much convincing._

 

_But what did you tell him?_ Kaldur asks.

 

_The truth,_ Artemis admits.

 

_He knows about the mission?_ M’gann asks.

 

_Kind of,_ Artemis thinks, _I didn’t give him any details._

 

_Who else knows?_ M’gann asks, sounding a little hurt. M’gann wishes that they would have told her. _Hell,_ Artemis wishes that they would have told her too. Maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess if they had.

 

_Just Nightwing,_ Kaldur thinks, _unless Artemis saw fit to tell anyone else._ Artemis sighs. She probably deserves that one.

 

_Just Nightwing,_ she confirms.

 

_Oh god,_ M’gann thinks, _Zatanna, Zatanna thinks you’re dead._

 

_Fuck,_ Artemis thinks. She knew that everyone was going to think she was dead, but she had never really considered the ramifications. She hadn’t considered how visceral M’gann’s reaction would be, or how it might affect her mother. She didn’t even think about how to would affect Zatanna, who is trapped all alone in her mind.

Black Manta opens the door to Kaldur’s room, and promises M’gann another day to “fix” Kaldur.

 

Great, this day just keeps getting better and better.

 

 

 

 

A few weeks after Artemis’s “death”, Nightwing comes to ask Giovanni for a favor. He presents him with ancient texts, and pictures from a temple in Bialya.

“This is definitely ancient magic,” Giovanni says. Nightwing nods.

“That’s what we thought,” Nightwing says, crossing his arms.

“Why do you want me to look into this?” Giovanni asks. Sure, this looks interesting, but it does not seem pressing. They have an _invasion_ to look into.

“Do you remember what Impulse said about his future?” Nightwing asks. How could he forget? The entire planet enslaved by the Reach, Blue Beetle, used as a pawn.

“Oh,” Giovanni says, “you want me to figure out how to sever Reach control of Blue Beetle, if they were to get it.” Nightwing nods.

“We, um,” Nightwing says, “we thought you might want to consult with Doctor Fate on this one.”

“Of course,” Giovanni grinds out.

 

A planetary invasion on the horizon, a not dead not daughter in law, and having to work with Nabu parading around in his daughter’s body? 2016 is a year filled with many glorious atrocities.

Giovanni forces himself to be cordial to the monster that controls his daughter’s body. She has gotten taller he realizes, much taller. Even though the last years of her childhood were stolen, she looks like a grown woman. It makes Giovanni hate Nabu more.

The Lord of Order responds curtly to everything Giovanni says, but he is not a bad research partner. At least, when Giovanni manages to overlook the fact that he wears his daughter’s body like a coat.

 

The Reach does gain control of Blue Beetle, and Giovanni can feel the time running out for both him and the world. Luckily, they figure out the spell. Then, they set a trap for Blue Beetle.

They use Impulse and Batgirl as bait to lure him out, and then, together with Rocket, they fly him to Biayla, the very temple where Batgirl first found the information Giovanni and Fate used to crack the code. They lure Green Beetle there as well.

Then, Giovanni sits down at the front of the temple, and starts speaking the spell. It is bright, and loud, and exhausting. He can’t even tell if it works. Impulse catches him before he hits the ground.

“Zatara, you okay?” he asks. “Did it work? Or, are we back to square one? Who controls the beetles?” They both force themselves to their feet, groaning all the way. He uses the last bit of magical strength to find out, and the armor retracts off of both of them.

“It worked,” he sighs, “they are both in control of their bodies.”

“It’s true,” Jaime Reyes says, absolute joy in his voice, “I can _feel_ it.” They go back and forth for a few moments, debating whether or not the spell was successful.

“I am certain,” Giovanni says. He learned that spell inside and out, and he could feel that it worked properly. He even double checked.

Robin confirms what he already knew, and Impulse laughs happily. He goes in for a high five, but instead, the boy wraps his arms around Giovanni in a hug.

“Thank you,” Jaime Reyes says. Then he notices how close they were, and how public it was. He looks embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, “that was- that was weird. I was just so happy.” He _looks it_ too, after just a few months without control of his body.

Giovanni thinks about the boy’s parents, and how they likely did not know that they had lost their son. How they did not know they had a Reach changeling instead. He does not know if that was better or worse than what he had. Perhaps it was neither, just different.

“I am Italian,” Giovanni says, “it is no problem.” Sometimes he thinks that the Americans and their aversion to physical affection, especially in public, is downright ridiculous.

“Hey her-man-o,” Impulse says, “when am _I_ gonna get a hug.”

“When you magically save me from Reach control,” Jaime retorts.

“Hey,” he says, “I’ve kind of saved us all from Reach control. That deserves a hug, right?” Jaime rolls his eyes.

“We are not finished yet,” Giovanni tells them. He does not know if he means this mission, or if he means the invasion in general. But either way, they are not finished yet.

Bumble Bee reasserts this, and they all scramble to escape Queen Bee’s goons. On the way back, the team members banter back in forth, but Giovanni only half pays attention. He made a breakthrough today.

 

Somewhere, in the spell he used to sever Reach control over Blue Beetle is the secret to severing Nabu’s control over his daughter. Somewhere in this lies the secret to saving his daughter. Giovanni just has to find it.

 

 

 

 

Artemis is not dead. The world does not end, and things return to the way that they were. Zatanna is not happy, not really. She does not know if she will ever be “happy” again. She is glad that Artemis is not dead, but she’s angry that she was deceived and she’s angry that she couldn’t do anything, and she’s angry about her entire situation.

She is glad that the world is fine. She is glad that Artemis is alive, and she is glad that her father is alright. She is just angry that she does not get to experience of this with them, but she has sort of resigned herself to her fate. It has been almost five years. It seems entirely unlikely that she will ever be saved. She does not think that it is possible.

At least she has her books.

“Zatara,” Nabu says. Zatanna drops her book immediately, and looks up to the screen. She sees the face of her father on the screen.

“Doctor Fate,” her father says, with far less bile than he has in the past.

“Why did you call for me?” Nabu asks. Nabu is not a human, and he sees no use for human pleasantries. He always makes her look like a jerk, but Zatanna has gotten used to it by this point. It is not even worth fighting him on.

“Since we worked so well together on the Beetle project,” her dad says, “I wanted to ask you to look over some notes on my latest spell.” Something seems off about the way that he says this. He's being even more cordial than he was when they freed Blue Beetle. He's hiding something. Nabu doesn't seem to notice, and nods his head. He follows her dad through the Watchtower, into it’s extensive library.

 

It does not look much different than her mind palace. There are gorgeous, wide windows that do not allow light to pass through them.There are high bookshelves, filled to the brim with titles old and new. And in the middle sit four wooden library tables, identical to the one she is sitting at right now.

“Where is the research?” Nabu asks. Her father takes a book off of one of the tables. Then, he starts chanting.

“Reves eht eit neewteb droL dna tsoh,” her father chants. Though Zatanna has not performed a spell in years, she remembers what they sound like. She thinks she could decipher them in her sleep.

_Sever the tie between Lord and host_ , her father says. He- he means to break her free. He thinks that he can _do_ it.

“You cannot hold me,” Fate bellows. Then, he starts to chant himself, trying to cast a spell with his voice and hers. Her father is having none of that.

“Tuc ffo sih cigam,” her father retorts.

“I’ve got him,” another voice says, “keep going!” She does not know what is going on, but the view on her screen shifts, as if Fate is flailing in someone’s arms.

“Esaeler eht eno taht etaF sdnib-” she hears. She can see her father’s face, determination set on it. She hears his voice mingling with her own and Fate’s.

“Release me, or I suffer the consequences,” Fate bellows. Fate always makes threats, but he never elaborates on what they are. Zatanna doesn't know if that means they're empty, or if they are worse than he can describe. She doesn't want her dad to find out. 

“We’ve been waiting six years for this, shitsitck,” the voice, _Artemis_ ’s voice says, “you think you can intimidate us now?” Zatanna can’t believe her eyes, or her ears. Somehow, this must be a dream. A wonderful, terrible dream that she’ll soon wake up from. Unless of course, it isn’t. Unless, they’re going to fail and Fate’s going to kill them and everything she loves will go up in flames.

“I eerf annataZ ataraZ,” her father finishes. Then her screen goes black, and Zatanna knows no more.

 

When Zatanna wakes up, her whole body hurts. She knows that is strange, because she cannot feel pain inside her mind. Is Nabu fucking with her? Did she do something wrong? She feels strong arms wrap around her, and she opens her eyes.

She sees her dad smiling down at her. She turns her head in confusion. There is no screen. Her books have vanished. Her entire mind palace is gone, and her father smiles in front of her. This has to be a weird dream, something Fate concocted to remind her she would never escape.

She finds herself nervously playing with her fingers, and feels them bumping on something cold, something metal. She looks down, and sees Doctor Fate’s helmet. She holds Fate’s helmet in her hands, and realizes something. This isn’t a hallucination. This is _real._

“Dad,” she says, her voice cracking.

“You’re free,” her dad promises. Zatanna bounds forward into her father’s arms and she cries. Tears of joy and frustration. Tears for the days that she never had with him, and all the ones that she’ll get in the future.

She feels another hand on her shoulder, and turns her head. She sees Artemis smiling down at her.

“Hey,” she says, “I helped too.” Zatanna pulls her down, and holds them both tightly, sobbing into whatever crevice her head falls into.

“I love you,” she says to both of them, “I love you I love you I love you I love you-” and she keeps saying it until her voice feels hoarse and she doesn’t have tears left to shed. She melts into a puddle of hugs, and feels as though the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders.

 

She can move, and she can talk, and she can _hug_ the people she loves.

  
Zatanna Zatara is free.


	2. Crashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zatanna is free of Doctor Fate, but that doesn't mean that she's alright now, no matter how much she insists that she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy really late birthday emma! hope that you enjoy this because your b-day is the only reason i was able to muster up the energy to write this follow up chapter rn. i am so so so sorry that the second half of your christmas gift became the second THIRD that's now a birthday gift. 
> 
> notes
> 
> 1\. okay so the alternating pov thing has been tossed completely out the window in this. sorry dudes  
> 2\. this chapter focuses on zatanna and there isn't as much as the other two, but there will be much more of them in the next one  
> 3\. i decided one day that yj tim drake is trans and yj barbara gordon is a lesbian so that's a thing here  
> 4\. the first villain is a real batman villain (get hype dude) but the next one is an OC that i really like  
> 5\. warnings for: sex jokes, swears, disassociation (or something similar), sexual assault, mind control and a background plot involving human trafficking.

Zatanna chews her last bit of lasagna, and takes a gulp of ice water. She’s not really ready to have this conversation, but she knows that she can’t put it off any longer. The longer that she puts it off, the more that she’ll stress about it and the longer she won’t be in the field. She needs to get this done, if only for her own sanity.

“I want to get back into the game,” Zatanna says.

“You mean you want to rejoin the Team,” her father says, sounding skeptical.

“Yes, dad. That’s what I mean.” Zatanna tries not to be too sarcastic about it. She knows that her dad has barely readjusted to having her back. Asking him to be alright with her joining the Team, which he never allowed her to do before, is a stretch. That doesn’t make her like it though.

She’s twenty years old now. She doesn’t want to be treated like a baby. That's the way that he treated her before she put on the helmet.

“I don’t know if I feel comfortable with this, Zatanna. You have just gotten your body back. Surely you are out of practice.”

“I’ve had nothing but practice, dad,” Zatanna says. It’s only half a lie. She did so much research on magic when she was stuck in her brain that her brain hurt sometimes, but she never really got to _practice it._ It was like being stuck in a chemistry lecture about doing experiments where she never actually got to do any experiments, just watch the teacher do them without explaining what was going on.

“We can train together for a while, but you’re not ready to go into the field.” Zatanna can feel her anger building inside. She’s really glad that she _didn’t_ decide to invite Artemis. He’s not going to budge, and she’s not going to budge. She’s getting angry and she knows that this won’t end well.

“I’m not a little girl anymore, dad,” she says, “I can handle this.” She grips the fork in her hand a little harder than she means to, and it digs the metal into the soft skin on her palm. She sets it down immediately. She doesn’t think that she’s going to get less angry, and she doesn’t want to grip _that_ any harder than she was already.

“Zatanna,” he says, sounding a little exasperated like she’s still that rebellious fourteen year old tugging on her short leash, “You haven’t had real field experience.”

“Well maybe I would have if you let me join the Team!” She can feel her anger coming to a boil, and she knows that if he doesn’t stop she’ll pop.

“You weren’t ready yet.” He says it so calmly, so decisively, and without any remorse. Zatanna blows.

“If you’d let me try then maybe I wouldn’t have put on that damn _helmet!_ ” And god do those words feel good to say. She’s been thinking them in the back of her mind for years, but she’s never let herself dwell on them, certainly never let herself say them aloud. She _has_ felt resentful, angry even, that he never let her join the Team before it was too late. She’s thought that maybe she would have been strong enough to try that last mission without trying to put on the helmet then, that maybe she wouldn’t have damned herself to six years trapped in her own body.

Her father, apparently, has never thought this. He looks shellshocked, like she’s dropped a literal bomb in his face. She kind of did.

“Zatanna, I- I” She feels guilty immediately. Even though she thought those things, they weren’t things that you speak aloud, no matter how angry you are. They’re words that she can never take back.

“I’m sorry dad,” she says, and she means it.

“I did not know you were still angry about that,” he says, sounding guilty and a little embarrassed.

“Well, I didn’t really have any way to work through that when I was away.” She didn’t really have a way to work through _any_ of her emotions. She’d felt like she was stagnating to be honest, like she would die exactly the same as she was at fourteen years old. Except she would be sadder, and lonelier, and less fulfilled.

“I’m sorry dad. I took it too far,” she says, taking his hand on top of the table, “I totally understand why you wouldn’t want me in the field yet, and if you want me to wait, I will.” The last time that her dad got to be her dad, she was a fourteen year old girl with ambitions of joining the League before she turned eighteen. Now she’s a twenty year old that he never got to watch grow up because she didn’t really  _get_ to. She didn’t go to prom. She didn’t stagger home drunk afterwards. He never dropped her off at college with tears in his eyes. She never even got to come out to him.

They both missed out on the end of her childhood together, and neither of them knows how to deal with that.

“No,” he says, “I was being overprotective. You are not a little girl anymore. If you feel ready to go out there, then you should.” Zatanna gets up out of her chair, and then goes to hug him while he’s still sitting. He stands up first.

“Thanks dad,” she says as she hugs him. Her forehead hits right about at his shoulder, and she realizes, again, how much she’s grown. He’s still taller than her, but he doesn’t tower over her the way that he did before she put on the helmet.

“Just be safe, please. Go with Artemis.

“Can do dad,” she says, because she was already planning to go with Artemis. She had already wanted to make it a date, but she doesn’t mind letting her dad think it was his idea.

“I do believe in you, Zatanna,” he says, “I just worry about you.”

“I know dad,” she says, and she does, “I know.” She doesn’t always like it, but she understands.

* * *

 

 

Artemis sets a time to meet Zatanna in Gotham a few days after Zatanna decides that she wants to do it for sure, and she waits about ten minutes before Zatanna comes through the zeta tube. She’s already in full costume and has a huge smile on her face.

“You look excited,” Artemis says. She hopes that it comes out teasing and not jerkish.

“Of course, I’m ready to walk the streets of Gotham, beat up baddies, get some autographs.” Non-Gothamites are always starstruck when they come to patrol here, but Artemis sees the city for exactly what it is: a shithole that she happens to be from. It is, however, always fun to inform people that patrols in Gotham aren’t like in other cities.

“You don’t patrol the _streets_ of Gotham,” Artemis says, gesturing dramatically to the top of a skyscraper.

“Wait,” Zatanna says, her eyes lighting up like that’s the coolest thing ever, “really?”

“Yeah,” Artemis says, “we patrol the _skies_.” She says it as dramatically as Dick had the first time that they patrolled together, and Zatanna snorts.

“You got that from Robin, didn’t you?” Artemis smirks.

“A magician never reveals her secrets.”

“That is _not_ what that means,” Zatanna tells her. Artemis shoots an arrow at the rickety metal ladder that’s probably not up to any city, state or national building regulations. It falls down right in front of her. Artemis pretends to blow smoke off of her bow. Zatanna seems much less amused than she is.

“That thing does not look safe." 

“It’s probably not," Artemis says. Zatanna crosses her arms over her chest, and Artemis rolls her eyes. 

“I’ll go first, check it out. If I fall, you don’t climb up. If I don’t, then you’re probably good.”

“Alright,” Zatanna says, sounding shaky and a little freaked out. To summarize, she didn’t sound alright at all. Artemis puts a foot on the first rung of the ladder, and quickly scales the building. The ladder is a bit rickety, but not as bad as she had expected. She gestures for Zatanna to follow her up, and she takes the ladder a bit slower than Artemis did but gets up it alright.

“Your dad’s really cool with this?” Artemis asks.

“You ask this _after_ I climb the death stairs?” Artemis shrugs. She didn’t really expect Zatanna to get hurt climbing those stairs after she hadn’t herself. Zatanna is a capable woman.

“But really, your dad’s cool with this?” Giovanni Zatara is a loving father, but he’s overprotective. Which is the exactly opposite of her own father, who doesn’t care about her at all and would send her into the line of fire in a heartbeat.

“As cool with it as he’s gonna get.” Artemis sighs. That’s the answer that she was expecting.

“The skyline’s pretty,” Zatanna says. She knows that Zatanna’s just changing the subject to change the subject, but she does sound impressed. Zatanna’s from Vegas, which has a pretty skyline, but not a large one. If you leave the Strip, then there isn’t much to it.

Gotham doesn’t have a pretty skyline beyond the part where it actually has one. Gotham has tall, sleek buildings that light up in the dark, but so much light pollution that the stars are invisible. The whole city reeks of smog and there are bits of rotting litter all throughout the streets. Luckily, they are on a rooftop. Gotham seems much grander from up above.

From above, Gotham seems like a city worth visiting, as opposed to the shithole Artemis has spent her whole life in.

“I’m _so_ ready to be back,” Zatanna says, clasping her hands together in excitement.

“Don’t get _too_ excited,” Artemis says, “we’re just patrolling.”  
  
“We’re patrolling _Gotham_ ,” Zatanna says, “Gotham is crawling with bad guys. We’ll definitely get some action tonight.”

“You wanna fuck a villain?” Artemis teases. She knows that Zatanna just wants to get back to fighting, but she said “get some action”. There’s no way that Artemis will let that slide without a joke or two.

“Just Catwoman,” Zatanna says with a shit-eating grin.

“Very funny.” Artemis says. She expects that to be the end of it, but Zatanna isn’t done yet.

“And Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn. Ooo, maybe Queen Bee, or-”  
  
“I got it,” Artemis says, rolling her eyes.

“Golden Glider’s pretty hot too, and Peek-A-Boo-”

“You can stop now.”

“But I have _so_ many more,” Zatanna says. Artemis hears footsteps behind them, and turns abruptly around, drawing her bow. A short, white man in a silly green hat stands ten feet away from her, a mad grin on his face. There’s a glowing metal earbud jutting out of his ear, and Artemis realizes who he is.

“Oh goodie,” the Mad Hatter says in his nasal voice, “you’re not bats.”

“We’re not,” Artemis says, notching an arrow, “we’re better.”

“Who is this?” Zatanna asks. It’s understandable that Zatanna isn't familiar with him. He’s not an A Lister like Joker or Poison Ivy. It would be generous to call him a D Lister.

“The Mad Hatter,” Artemis growls.

“Like Alice in Wonderland? For real?” It _is_ ridiculous, but it’s not like Mad Hatter is the _only_ villain named after an Alice in Wonderland character.

“Have you _met_ my sister?”

“Touchè,” Zatanna says. Artemis can hear more footsteps, but she can’t identify where they’re coming from.

“I know who you are,” he says, pointing to her, “you’re Miss Artemis!” He covers his mouth daintily, like a wealthy white woman at a tea party, and stifles his giggles.

“Ooo, that rhymes!” The footsteps get louder, and Artemis thinks to look up. Then she sees them.  The rooftop Artemis and Zatanna decided to perch on is high up, but the building beside it is three or so floors taller. There are stairs leading down from it, and the Mad Hatter’s minions are flooding down them. There are a _lot_ of minions.

Artemis draws her bow, and aims it towards the buildings. She switches out her real arrows for softer trick arrows. She knows that Mad Hatter’s grunts are unwilling accomplices, and she does not want to hurt innocent people.

“What are you aiming at?” Zatanna asks.

“His minions,” Artemis says, “Mad Hatter’s specialty is mind control.”

“Well,” Zatanna, who has been mind controlled, says, “that’s great. Fantastic.”

“And who is this?” the Mad Hatter asks, pointing his little gloved finger at Zatanna.

“I’m the March Hare,” Zatanna says.

“I’m not stupid,” he says, “I know _you’re_ not the March Hare. The March Hare is a man.” Artemis shoots a trick arrow at one of his minions, and brings them down. The rest of them step right over it, and the closest are only a few rungs from reaching the ground. This is not going well.

“I thought he was a rabbit?” Zatanna asks. Artemis doesn’t respond,

“Get them,” he says, his nasal voice going from whinny to commanding.

“I’ll get the others,” Artemis says, “you get his headpiece offline. I think that some magic could disrupt it, maybe destroy it.” Zatanna nods, and Artemis runs towards the mad man’s minions.

“Who are you?” the Mad Hatter asks Zatanna again, and Artemis finally meets the group of zombified Gothamites. She’s very grateful that mind control makes people slower, because while Artemis is a great fighter, she couldn’t take on this many people if they were at their full capacity. She kicks the first man just hard enough to knock him down.

“You’re not a bat, or I would have seen you sooner.”

“Kconk mih wnod!” Zatanna shouts. Artemis hears the man hit the ground as she kicks her opponent. She thinks that she won’t have to keep these people at bay long.

“Magic,” the Mad Hatter says, with awe and understanding in his voice, “you know, you look like Doctor Fate.” Artemis lands another punch.

“Zee,” she shouts back, “you alright?” Zatanna doesn’t respond, and Artemis kicks again, forcing a woman back.

“Zee?” Silence. Punch. Kick.

“Zee!” Silence. Kick. Punch. Repeat. She turns around abruptly, and finds Zatanna standing stick straight, eyes as wide as moons. The Mad Hatter is standing right in front of her, a puzzled look on his face.

“Dearie? Dearie? You in there?” the Mad Hatter says, waving his hand in her face. She doesn’t move, and Artemis feels a blow to her head. She elbows roughly back, and feels her elbow slam into someone’s ribs. The Mad Hatter pulls a small, metal device out of his jeans pocket, along with a circular pocket watch.

 

In that moment, Artemis knows that she can’t just keep his minions at bay. Zatanna does not have a handle on this situation, not in the least.

 

“You’ll be useful,” he says, with a maniacal grin on his face and a joyful lilt to his voice. Artemis feels ice cold fear within her.

“ _Zee!”_ Artemis shouts, but it’s like Zatanna doesn't even hear her. Artemis runs in between two zombified people and straight at the Mad Hatter. She nearly jumps onto him and tackles him to the ground. Then she rips the device out of his hand.

“No, that’s mine! Stealing isn’t fine!” She punches him down, and pushes herself to her feet. Then she throws the device to the ground, and crushes it underfoot. She shoots a trick arrow at him, the type with the expanding, sticky material. She watches it expand as he’s stuck to the roof. Artemis dials the GCPD’s tip line. She holds her phone up to her ear.

“Yeah,” she tells 911, “I’ve got the Mad Hatter stuck here on the roof of the Kane Industries building.”

“We’ll have someone pick him up asap,” the guy on the phone says. Artemis hangs up.

“I can’t go to jail! I’ll kick and flail!” The Mad Hatter shouts. The Mad Hatter does go to jail, but he does kick and flail. Artemis isn't surprised by either of these things. She and Zatanna make their way back to the zeta, and Artemis finally acknowledges the elephant in the room.

“Zee,” Artemis says, “you might need to see someone about this.

“What?”

“You _know_ what,” Artemis says. Zatanna deflates.

“Yes, I know what happened, but I can’t worry dad about it.”  
  
“Maybe you _should_ worry him about it,” Artemis says.

“It was fine though,” Zatanna says, “I didn’t get hurt, did I?”

“But you could have.”

“But I didn’t!” And Artemis realizes as soon as Zatanna says that that she won’t win this fight. In order to even gain some leverage here, she’d have to tell Giovanni about the incident. She’s not sure if Zatanna would ever forgive her for a breach of trust like that, and she’s definitely not going to budge if she does anything less than that.

“Alright,” Artemis says, “whatever. I guess it’s fine.”

“Of course it is,” Zatanna says. Artemis realizes that that’s the end of that.

* * *

 

 

 

Zatanna is back on the Team in a week, and after a few easy missions, Kaldur comes to talk to her about a bigger one.

"Zatanna, you are only attracted to women.” Zatanna sends him a confused look, then he backtracks.

“Do I have that right?”

"Yes?"  Zatanna doesn’t know how that could be relevant to anything really.

"The Team is facing a male villain with powers like Queen Bee," he says, "we need every lesbian and straight man we can find." The Team is lacking lesbians and straight men. As far as she knows, she is the only lesbian lesbian, and there are at least three guys who aren't straight (Jaime, Bart, and Kaldur himself).

"Oh yeah," Zatanna says, "I can do that."

"Are you certain?" Kaldur asks, "I do not want to put you in the field if you are not ready."

"I've been cleared for duty, and you need lesbians. I don't see why I'd sit it out." It sounds like some bizarre movie title: Atlanteans Need Lesbians. She doesn't laugh, though. She doesn't want Kaldur to think she isn't taking this seriously.  

"If you don't feel mentally ready, then you should not have to do this. We can ask Rocket, if need be." Rocket joined the Justice League, and there are some hard feelings about it all around. Contacting her is a last resort.

"I'll be fine, Kaldur. I promise. You won't have to talk to Rocket." Kaldur visibly relaxes at that. He and Rocket have been on uneasy terms ever since she broke up with him and came out as a lesbian immediately after.

“Thank you, Zatanna,” he says, “I appreciate it.”

 

 

Zatanna doesn’t hear anything about the mission for a week. That is, until they finish one of their training sessions.

“I would like the squad that is going after Alpha Male to stay after class,” Kaldur says with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Isn’t Alpha Male like, the dude version of Queen Bee?” La’gaan asks.

 “Yes,” Kaldur says, “he is.”

“I’m straight. Why aren't I on the cool straight men mission. You saying I’m gay?”  Kaldur actually looks a little exasperated, which means, of course, that he is extremely exasperated. Kaldur shows about as many emotions as Captain Holt on Brooklyn Nine Nine.

“La’gann, I do not doubt your sexuality, but you are also pisco,” he says. Zatanna’s best guess is that “pisco” means that La’gaan looks like a fish.

“You saying because I’m pisco I can't do this?”

“You do not pass as human, La’gaan. It would be… difficult  to put you on this mission. I am sure that if we were able to then you would have much to contribute.” La’gaan’s frown softens.

“Alright Kal,” he says, “I understand.” That’s surprising. La’gaan doesn't really back off of things. Then again, Zatanna has been able to gather that the two of them are close. If there is anyone that Mr. Frat Boy Fish respects, it’s Kaldur.

“Plus, Cassie’s throwing a party tonight,” he says, and if the guy had eyebrows, he would be waggling them. Robin looks like he wants to decapitate him.

“I’ll just get going,” La’gaan says as he nearly floats out of the room. Robin hooks his laptop up to the projector, and puts a professional looking powerpoint up on the board.

“This is Adonis Anderson,” Robin says, taking on the voice and cadence he gets when he wants to sound like Batman, “Alpha Male. He runs a gay bar in Denver called Rainbow Road, which he has been using to obtain male attracted individuals to traffic. We suspect that he is acquiring these people for the Light. Whether or not this is related, we plan to bring down his operation.” Robin dropped so many ten dollar words in that sentence that he might have made his own small fortune.

“Wait,” Zatanna says, “that’s Alpha Male, the Adonis? Male Queen Bee?” He looks like the angry nerd from an eighties movie: bright white polo shirt, blinding white skin except for the freckles, sickly blue eyes and carrot red hair. He’s tall, but the way that a stalk of corn is tall: awkward and skinny and a little unnatural looking. The only thing he’s missing is the leaves and the heads in random places, but his nose is about the right shape and juts out enough it looks a little like an ear of corn.

“That’s what he looks like,” Robin says, “at least, that’s what he looks like without any of his pheromones.” All of the rest of them look confused, and Robin gets the memo that he needs to explain. 

“His pheromones affect everyone differently,” Robin says, “even people who aren't attracted to men have a hard time seeing through the illusion, even though the mind control doesn't affect them.”

“Alright, I feel briefed,” Static says, “what’s the plan?”

“Robin and I came up with cover stories,” Batgirl says, “Guardian and Static will be a couple. Robin will have just come out as trans and will be just adjusting to his new gender identity and sexual orientation. Zatanna and I will be his straight friends who agreed to come for emotional support.” Guardian sort of grimaces, but doesn’t say anything. He did agree to go on the mission to Alpha Male’s gay bar. He knew what he was getting into and isn’t about to start complaining about it.

 

 

Zatanna and Batgirl both dress like straight girls going out to the club. Robin wears a bright purple beanie and a shirt with the trans symbol on it to really hammer it home. Mal wears exactly what he always wears, but Static really gets into it. He picks out a pair of skinny jeans, a rainbow tank top, and puts on some sparkly eyeshadow and bright blue lipstick. He’s absolutely rocking the look and Zatanna’s a little bit jealous.

“You know, you don’t have to dress like a stereotype,” Robin says, almost looking offended. Zatanna can’t blame him, really. Robin might be straight, but he’s still trans. It's making Zatanna’s lesbian ass a little uncomfortable as well.

Static says, “I always wanted to wear this kind of thing. I just never had the chance, you know? I didn’t mean to perpetuate stereotypes.” Robin’s look softens.

“It’s alright,” he says, “I get it.” And Robin probably does. Robin had all of the trappings of masculinity foisted on him at an older age, and he doesn’t have any wiggle room with it. If he ever presents as slightly feminine, people will claim that means that he’s faking the trans thing and actually just a lesbian. Which, there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian (Zatanna can vouch for that) but Robin isn’t one, and being perceived as one probably doesn’t help his dysphoria.

“Are we ready?” Batgirl asks. They all nod, and it’s time to go.

 

 

They get all the mission details worked out, and soon they’re ready to infiltrate Rainbow Road. Static and Guardian go in first. Static hangs off Guardian’s arm, and Guardian looks over at him like a dotting boyfriend. There’s no way that the people in there won’t buy their act. Then Zatanna, Batgirl and Robin wait five minutes before going in themselves. The bouncer looks at them funny, but lets all three of them in.

 

Then they see him: Adonis. He’s on the stage, singing a song. Zatanna doesn’t swing that way, but he still has the most pleasing bass voice she’s ever heard and it's attached to young Harrison Ford’s body. She doesn’t know how someone who actually _is_ attracted to men can resist that. She, Robin and Batgirl sit down at a table near the bar and don’t order anything. They’re under twenty one, so they couldn’t get anything alcoholic, plus they don’t want to risk lowering their inhibitions anyways. They need their wits to be at the top of their game to fight and beat Alpha Male.

He's been running this people smuggling ring for six months (that they know of) and he’s been getting away with it.

"What does he look like to you?" Zatanna whispers.

"John Boyega," Barbara says.

"You?"

"Young Harrison Ford," Zatanna admits.

“Rob?”

Robin sighs, and says, “Idris Elba.”

“Nice,” Batgirl says. Adonis finishes his song, and the crowd roars. Everyone else here is already under his spell. Adonis walks over to them, and Zatanna tries to look as dazed and enamored as possible. 

“How are you ladies doing tonight,” he says. Zatanna cringes as he misgenders Robin, and Robin forces a smile.

He points to his trans pride flag shirt and says, “I’m a gentleman, actually.” You’d think that a man who runs a gay bar would be more careful with his pronouns and more observant of pride flags, but Zatanna supposes that he might not care. If someone’s not attracted to men then they mean nothing to him, but if they are then they mean everything.

“My apologies sir,” Adonis says, sending Robin a winning smile. She almost forgets why she should be angry with him for a moment.

“Is this your first time on the Rainbow Road?” They all nod.

“What’s the occasion?”

“I finally came out to my parents.” He’s smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Zatanna wonders if his actual coming out went badly.

“Just as the T?”

“Oh god no,” Robin says, with enough disbelief that you’d think he actually did dread the prospect of being straight, “I’m gay as fuck.”  He enunciates the k so hard it sounds like he's assaulting the word. 

“That’s good to hear,” he says, “I wouldn't want to waste all this on a straight man.” Zatanna realizes that this is when she needs to pounce.

“Are you _gay_ gay?” she asks, trying to sound as much like an upper middle class straight white girl as possible.

“I bet that you are. We don’t have a chance, do we?” Batgirl says, putting on her best face of pouty disappointment. Adonis flashes her a winning smile that almost doesn’t make him look smarmy.

“I’m bi, baby.” He says with a wink. “all are welcome to the party.” She smiles a flirty smile, and Zatanna forces one as well.

“Thank god,” Zatanna says, playfully batting Robin’s shoulder, “I was a little scared that Jon would have you all to himself.”

“Oh no no no,” “Jon” says, “he talked to me first.”

“Don’t worry, there’s enough of me to go around,” he says, “all at the same time if you’re interested.” It’s such a fuck boy thing to say, but it still comes off as almost charming. Zatanna can see exactly how this guy gets away with all of this. She giggles nervously, and hopes to god that he takes it as a “nervous because a cute guy is flirting with me” sort of thing.

“Oh god yes,” Robin says as Batgirl laughs. Adonis smiles.

“I have an after party going,” Adonis says, and then more intensely he adds, “you should all come.” If he wasn’t using his powers before, Zatanna knows he is now. They are now seeping into real mind control territory. She knows that means they’re on the right track. She also knows, for certain, it won’t work on her. That does not ease the queasy, anxious feeling in her stomach.

“Yes!” Zatanna squeaks.

“Of course,” Robin says, much more convincingly.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Batgirl says, the most convincing out of the bunch of them. Adonis grins.

“Don’t leave,” he orders, and then he smiles a million dollar smile. His teeth are so white that if this was a cartoon they would sparkle.

“I wanna see you there,” he says, words oozing with charm. Zatanna nods, and hopes that her dazed, fake smile convinces him she’s under his spell. He leaves them, and goes to talk to some other people. He’s like a sheepdog, rounding up his flock to move across the countryside. She doesn’t know if they’re headed for the shear, the marketplace, or the slaughter. She decides that she doesn’t want to pursue that metaphor any further, and puts the thought out of her mind. She wonders if the other two are feeling like this, but she kind of doubts it; Robin and Batgirl are both seasoned, and they had the beginning of their careers in Gotham. They were baptized in fire, and this likely doesn’t even phase them.  
  
“Can I like, get up and go to the bathroom?” Zatanna whispers, “or would that break our cover.” Robin shrugs.

“ I wouldn’t risk it,” Batgirl says, “we don’t know how absolute he expects the control to be. Hell, even if that’s perfectly normal, it would still draw attention to us.” Zatanna sighs. She knows that that’s the last thing they want, but the second to last thing that she wants to do is wait any longer before she goes to the bathroom. She tries to focus on Adonis instead, both to gather information for the mission and to focus on something other than her full bladder. It’s interesting to watch him work, and a little frightening too. She watches as he gently turns up the charm, and then tries to get someone to do something completely out there (like his orgy invitation) and decides whether they’re someone that he can control or not. If he realizes that they are someone he can’t control, he runs them out of the bar.

 

He kicks out at least ten people. She doesn’t want to assume their genders or orientations, but she does know he does not walk away from a single cis guy without them eating out of the palm of his hand. Zatanna supposes that’s to be expected. This _is_ a gay bar, and while cis straight women are a common sight, their male counterparts are not. They’re afraid that gay is a contagious disease, and for cis straight men, the idea of being gay is a fate worse than death.

 

Adonis finally comes up to Guardian and Static last. Zatanna’s not sure if it’s because of how he’s making his rounds or a weird race thing, but she decides not to think about it too hard as she watches their conversation.

 

They talk for a bit, Static and Guardian leaning into each other and holding hands discretely, like a completely believable couple. Static leans in and kisses him right on the lips, almost definitely on Alpha Male’s orders. When he breaks, part of Static’s bright blue lipstick has smeared onto his pink lips.

 

Zatanna’s suddenly very grateful that just basically agreeing to an orgy was all that she had to do to maintain her cover. Alpha Male could have requested anything really, any awful degrading thing, and she would have had to either do it or break her cover. She feels a sickly feeling in her stomach: a combination of guilt and anger and sympathy. Guardian looks every bit the angry, jealous boyfriend, but Adonis laughs. He says something, maybe an order to forget about it, or an order not to care, or even an order to find the idea of his boyfriend kissing another boy hot. He might be trying to build a massive orgy, Zatanna doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what he does with his victims before they vanish off the face of the earth.

 

Zatanna feels a little bit ill as she watches Guardian feign a dazed state. Adonis wipes the bright blue lipstick off his lips, and smirks, exactly like the entitled guy who can get whatever he wants in life that he is. He takes a sip of his drink, a whisky looking booze, and has that same evil glint in his eyes, like he’s about to get something he wants that someone doesn’t want to give to him. Zatanna decides that she’s not going to let whatever he’s planning happen.

“Llips ruoy knird,” Zatanna mutters under breath. Then, Adonis spills his whisky all over his shirt. Batgirl stifles a laugh, and Robin doesn’t.

“Was that you?” she asks. Zatanna nods. Batgirl looks proud and a little bit impressed.

“Fuck,” Adonis says, loud enough for them to hear him. He sets his empty glass on the counter, and then pulls his shirt casually over his head. He barely looks dazed, and he looks damn good without a shirt on. Zatanna supposes that his lack of shirt might at least give him them a strategic advantage when it comes down to it. He looks from Static to Guardian, and then seems to make a decision. He holds out a hand, and probably tells then not to move. Then he goes up on stage and grabs his microphone.

“We’re leaving,” Adonis tells the remainder of the bar. They all go to obey, and Zatanna hopes that they do so quick enough that it doesn’t arouse suspicion. The group exits the bar, and they walk out to the parking lot. There’s about twenty people, excluding them themselves: thirteen cis looking dudes, four cis looking girls, and three people that Zatanna doesn’t want to guess on because she thinks she would get it wrong. She knows that they can take them, if worst comes to worst, but she doesn’t want to have to. These are good people who just happened to be mind controlled. They don’t have any more control over this than she or Blue Beetle did.

 

Hell, they have less say than she did. She put that helmet on herself. These people just went to a bar one night and ended up with a terrible surprise.

 

Adonis has one of those enormous tour buses that school groups and old rich people take when they’re vacationing, and it has his name in stylized golden letters on the side. She’s not sure how he’s modified the inside to use for his trafficking operation, but she knows that he has to have made some adjustments. She knows that they can’t let any of these people see the inside of that bus.

“Where am I?” one guy asks.

The guy beside him asks, “How plastered did I get? Am I so drunk I’m sober again?”

“Not how it works, babe.” The second guy shrugs, as if it’s totally plausible that he got so drunk that it sobered him up.

“Get in the van,” Adonis says, his voice sounding high pitched and whiny now that she’s been stripped him of his powers. She doesn’t know how long it will last, and she needs to get the people out _now._ Then she needs to figure out how to find his supplier.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Adonis Anderson,” he says, “you all know me.”

“Adonis doesn’t look like that,” a guy says, insulted that he would even suggest that he was Adonis. Batgirl sighs long and hard.

“You’ve all been mind controlled,” Batgirl says, “we were able to break his-“ then she points directly at Adonis, “hold on you, but we don’t know how long it will last.”

“How do we know you aren’t lying?” one of the girls asks.

“Look, I ain’t questioning her,” a boy with a Southern drawl says, “if a tough lady says get the fuck out, I’m getting the fuck out.” Then he turns around.

“Stop!” Adonis says, “Stop walking!”

“I am not fucking around with _mind control,”_ the girl says. Zatanna hears a chorus of agreements, and they all head away from the group towards their own cars.

“Get back here!” Adonis shouts. Zatanna hears a few guys laugh at him, and it only takes about a minute for the kids to all drive away. Then, of course, the spell wears off. Adonis looks like young Harrison Ford again.

That’s not really a problem, because none of them swing that way. His powers don’t go any further than looks with them, and Zatanna doesn’t bother to dismantle his glamor.

“My powers!” he says, gleefully looking down at his hands.

“That’s not gonna help you,” Robin says, “we assembled a dream team for this mission: the straightest men and the gayest women.” Adonis shoots him a sardonic Harrison Ford smile.

“You sure about that?” Then Robin looks concerned. Alpha Male might be bluffing, but he might also know about a weak link in their chain. Zatanna doesn’t know how likely that second option is, but the idea of it sure is scary. Alpha Male turns to face Static and then sends him a bright smile.

“Kill them,” he orders. Then Static’s fingers spark to life, and Adonis smiles like a man who bought one lottery ticket and won the whole damn Power Ball.

“Looks like I caught a meta,” he says, and with the form that the pheromones are showing her, he looks exactly like Indiana Jones when he stole that artifact at the beginning of the first movie.

“Oh god,” Robin says. Robin doesn’t say anything else, because a moment later he’s dodging a lightning bolt. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like a dream team anymore. Once you factor in Static’s unfortunate bisexuality, she’s the only superpowered person on the squad. She doesn’t know if that bodes well for any of them. Robin and Batgirl both take out their weapons, and Guardian takes out his fists.

Zatanna stands in her spell position, and shoots something Alpha Male’s way.

“Just do that same spell!” Batgirl shouts, “it’ll break his hold over Static!” Static shoots a bolt her way, and she speaks a spell instinctively. An ankh shoots out of her hand and knock Static down.

That’s not the spell that she meant to say. Zatanna doesn’t know how to _do_ that spell. The ankh just sort of appeared from her hands. She can feel the panic building.

“Doctor Fate,” Adonis growls. Then Zatanna can't move. The fight is a blur around her, and Zatanna can’t remember how to move.

Suddenly, she’s back in her own head. She’s Doctor Fate, but there’s no ankh’s shooting from her hands, there’s no Nabu fighting with her body. There’s only Zatanna and her own paralyzing fear, and that feels so much worse as the world zooms around her. Everything seems so distant, and she can’t seem to focus in well enough to make her body move. She feels like she’s floating in space.

“Zatanna!” She registers her name, but not enough to make anything happen.

“Zatanna!” She hears her name, but she still doesn’t really know what’s going on, doesn’t feel all there.  

 “Zatanna!” She knows that her name is being said, but it doesn't matter. She can't do a damn thing. Zatanna doesn’t see what happens, not really, but she hears a body hit the floor. She hears scuffling, and then feels an arm wrap around her. She feels herself walking beside Batgirl, and realizes that she’s back in her body. She can move it again, and she suddenly feels terrible. It happened again.

“We got him, at least,” Batgirl tells her. That doesn’t really make Zatanna feel better. None of them speak until they’ve zetaed back to the Watchtower. Then there is exactly a minute of awkward silence before the shit hits the fan.

“Well,” Robin says, “that was a complete disaster. Let’s play a little game called “What Went Wrong”. Can anyone tell me why that mission went to shit in a handbasket?” Static looks up guiltily.

"I um, well," Static says, "it turns out I'm not straight."

"You think?" Guardian demands. Static looks away in embarrassment.

"It's not Static's fault he was controlled," Batgirl says. 

"It's not his fault?" Guardian asks, "sure looked like his fault to me."

"Look, heteronormativy is a thing," Batgirl says, "why do you think I dated Nightwing? I went on missions against Queen Bee when I was younger, and I could have turned out just like that.” Static perks up a little after that.

“Alright,” Guardian says, “I see your point.”

"My question is why Zatanna's on active duty," Robin says, "it's obvious she's not okay yet. She can't handle it."

"I'm right here," Zatanna says. If Robin's going to talk shit about her, he can at least wait until she's out of the room. 

"Then explain what happened," Robin demands.

“I don’t know,” Zatanna says, “I just kind of froze up.”

“What are we gonna do about that? What are we gonna do if she just “freezes up” in the middle of another active mission! If she’d just been more focused, we would have had Static back in a second!” Zatanna wants to argue. She wants to defend herself, but she can’t think of anything to say. Apparently, neither can anyone else.

“Well, what are we gonna do about this?” Batgirl sighs. 

“I'm going to suggest to the League that Zatanna be taken off active duty,” Batgirl says.

“What?” Zatanna asks. She kind of knew that it was coming, but it still comes as a shock for some reason. The idea of being forcibly removed from active duty is still so terrifying.

“You’re clearly not over what happened with Fate yet. You shouldn’t be in the field like this. It’s dangerous for yourself and others.” Zatanna realizes that Batgirl is right. She _did_ put the mission at risk because she could own up to the fact that she had a problem. Because she didn’t listen to Artemis all those months ago, she put all of her teammates in danger.

“Alright,” Zatanna concedes, “you’re right. I’m not up to active duty. I wasn’t to begin with.”

“Wait, really?” Robin asks, “that’s all you’re gonna say?”

“Yeah,” Zatanna says, “I’m not going to fight on this.” Robin looks a pleasantly surprised. He doesn’t apologize for anything he said, but he doesn’t say anything.

“This mission wasn’t a failure,” Batgirl says. Static looks unconvinced, and Guardian actually groans.

“It isn’t,” she repeats, “we saved twenty would be human trafficking victims, and stopped Alpha Male’s business in its tracks.”

“But now we’ll never figure out where he takes them,” Static says, “now we’ll never find the rest of them.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” she says, “we have him in custody. We can figure something out.” The rest of them don’t look convinced, but Zatanna realizes that it’s so much better than where they started.

“Now go home,” Batgirl says, “I don’t want you moping around the Watchtower all night.” They take that for the hint that it is, and exit the room. Zatanna, however, stops at the zeta and places a call.

“Yeah, this is Zatanna,” she tells Black Canary’s league phone number, “I wanted to set up an appointment.” She doesn’t know if meeting with Black Canary will help or not, but she realizes now that pretending that she’s not having problems and trying to push herself into things isn’t going to make her problems go away. Pretending that she doesn’t have issues will only make them worse, and she can’t afford to do that anymore. She wants to get to normal, and she’s realizing that she has to acknowledge that she’s nowhere close in order to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. the next chapter hopefully won't take 5 whole months to write and upload, but you never know with me. i put this off because i knew it was going to be an Ordeal, and the next chapter will also be an Ordeal. please bug me about it so that i get off my ass and write it 
> 
> a few things to look forward to 
> 
> 1\. giovanni being an angry overprotective dad  
> 2\. zatanna and artemis fighting over the blame from giovanni for the Incident (it was mu fault because i didn't stop you. no it was MY FAULT because i told you to lay off)  
> 3\. zatanna finally meeting artemis's fam  
> 4\. therapy woot woot  
> 5\. JJJAAAAAIIIIMMMMEEEEeEEEEE  
> 6\. healing and cuddles and emotional stability. probably some brownies


End file.
